I'll miss this...

So, with only 8 days till my due date, and me being awake at 3 a.m., I figured I would leave this note to my unborn child, but you can all read too if you like, but it might be a snooze fest for you..

I will miss being pregnant (except that last 2 nights when sleep as eluded me!) This is my 4th child in 11 years. The first 3 are 11, 9, and will be 7 in April, it's been a while...

I so enjoyed the first time I was pregnant, 11 years ago! The 2nd came so soon after (10 months) and the 3rd, was a blur, because I was taking care of two young children at the time. About a year ago I was diagnosed with some female problems that left me with the knowledge I would very soon (within a year) need to take care of those problems, and leave me all done having children. I was ok with this, I had resigned myself to the fact that Jerod & I had a complete family with our 3 beautiful little girls.. We had prayed about having 1 more, and after 2 years of nothing, I was ok with this.

So last May I prayed 1 last time, knowing that I would need to have surgery by the end of summer, I took it to my Heavenly Father and basically asked that this was it, if I was meant to have one more than the time has to be know. Lo and behold to my SHOCK and 3 tests later in June I found out I was pregnant. I still denied it until I went to my first Dr's appt. on 8-1-08 and she got out the Ultrasound machine to prove it to me! All I could do was cry, I was overwhelmed (literally, with both scared and excited emotions.) I was just 2 weeks shy of turning 35 years old, was going to start working full time in the fall! How in the world was I going to do this??

The firsrt 12 weeks were uh, ok.. I had morning sickness feelings all day long, which made life miserable in the hottest part of the summer, but once I hit 12 weeks, that feeling went gone as did all of the tiredness. I actually felt really good, and with working 8 hours a day, working on homework, driving the girls to dance, I've managed to stay busy and enjoy it this time! When we told the girls, they screamed and Taylor cried, my growing belly, the first time I felt a flutter, the ultrasound in October, the babies first "unofficial" Christmas where the people who love us the most spoiled him already, the girls kissing my belly and talking to the baby, some very sweet people in my life telling me I look great, even though I feel huge, my surprise baby shower at school, my sweet husband talking to my belly a week ago and telling the baby to hang in there but it's ok to come out now, me talking with the baby telling him PLEASE come out now, hearing the heartbeat every time I go to the Dr (it never gets old), getting the room ready, agreeing to Mossy Oak Camo bedding, realizing that if the U/S was wrong, this poor girl is wearing blue, green or brown for the first 3 months of her life!!! I really have tried to cherish every moment, because I know this will be my last time.

I can't wait to meet the baby, but a part of me is sad, because for right now he's all mine, tucked away sweetly in my belly, just waiting to make his entrance into this big, bright world!

I love you already Charles Jeffrey Hoffman, and I can't wait to look into your eyes to tell you so!

XXOO Mommy